{"id":644,"date":"2016-02-19T19:44:39","date_gmt":"2016-02-19T19:44:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/endrun.endcrawl.com\/?p=644"},"modified":"2016-04-26T01:42:07","modified_gmt":"2016-04-26T01:42:07","slug":"how-to-crush-a-job-interview-with-us","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/how-to-crush-a-job-interview-with-us\/","title":{"rendered":"How to crush a job interview with us"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/endcrawl.com\/\">Endcrawl<\/a> is\u00a0not hiring right now, but from time to time\u00a0I&#8217;ve\u00a0had to wade through 500 same-same cover letters. So I\u00a0set out to preemptively describe our Ideal Candidate.<\/p>\n<h2>1. Must Display a\u00a0Strong Aversion to Multitasking<\/h2>\n<p>Ideal Candidate knows that people can\u2019t actually do two things at the same time. Instead of dissipating all of her energy into this feel-good fiction, Candidate will instead:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>be adept at\u00a0navigating Unexpected Emergent Problem Decompositions,<\/li>\n<li>recognize her\u00a0own\u00a0different\u00a0states of mind as a\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.ribbonfarm.com\/2016\/01\/28\/productivity-for-precious-snowflakes\/\">competitive advantage<\/a>, and<\/li>\n<li>optimize work around that.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>2. Should\u00a0Valiantly Resist Goal-Oriented Behavior<\/h2>\n<p>Candidates who have never written a hyper-granular &#8220;business plan&#8221; are strongly preferred. Ideal Candidate should\u00a0distrust\u00a0purist visions and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/shreevatsa.wordpress.com\/2008\/05\/16\/premature-optimization-is-the-root-of-all-evil\/\">premature optimization<\/a>.\u00a0He prefers\u00a0launching and testing an idea over\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.ribbonfarm.com\/2010\/07\/26\/a-big-little-idea-called-legibility\/\">High-Modernist authoritarian<\/a>\u00a0modes.<\/p>\n<p>Candidate is comfortable saying things like &#8220;I don&#8217;t know that,&#8221; when he doesn&#8217;t know that.<\/p>\n<p>Ideal Candidate realizes\u00a0that\u00a0human ingenuity is often the result of bricolage, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.smbc-comics.com\/index.php?id=2698\">curiosity<\/a>, and generally just sort\u00a0of <a href=\"https:\/\/xkcd.com\/519\/\">messing around<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2>3. Must abhor working in a &#8220;Fast-Paced, High-Pressure Environment&#8221;<\/h2>\n<p>Ideal Candidate will recognize\u00a0this\u00a0sort of language as code for\u00a0bad managers flailing about importantly. Candidate will recognize the difference between (a) getting work done and (b) radiating sweaty stress into the universe. She will be wary of the perpetually set-upon, overworked <em>persona<\/em>\u00a0forever declaring itself \u201cbusy, busy\u201d in polite elevator conversation.<\/p>\n<p>We appreciate\u00a0the romantic appeal of a guerilla ethos, but\u00a0like <a href=\"http:\/\/articles.latimes.com\/2004\/feb\/26\/business\/fi-letter26\">Eisner once said<\/a>: in\u00a0an operation, you need to operate. If you thrive on perpetual crisis mode, we would be delighted to\u00a0refer you to one of our\u00a0fast-paced, busy\u00a0competitors.<\/p>\n<h2>4. Should not be a\u00a0Team Player<\/h2>\n<p>Ideal Candidate will not always meekly do what he\u00a0is told. Nor will Candidate be in the habit of trading mutual political cover for mediocre work. He\u00a0must\u00a0be a rank amateur at\u00a0go-along\/get-along Potemkinism.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, Ideal Candidate will possesses the courage of\u00a0his\u00a0convictions, think from <a href=\"http:\/\/jamesclear.com\/first-principles\">first<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/radar.oreilly.com\/2009\/01\/work-on-stuff-that-matters-fir.html\">principles<\/a>, and\u00a0be\u00a0prepared\u00a0to defend\u00a0his own ideas. Even if that includes the occasional swear.<\/p>\n<p>At the same time, Candidate will understand how to <em>argue to understand<\/em> instead of <em>arguing to win<\/em>. Someone once called this\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/bobsutton.typepad.com\/my_weblog\/2006\/07\/strong_opinions.html\">Strong Opinions, Weakly Held<\/a>. We&#8217;re into that.<\/p>\n<h2>5.\u00a0Must Not List TeamViewer or Microsoft Office as Job Skills<\/h2>\n<p>Please just don&#8217;t do this.<\/p>\n<h2>6. Must recoil in horror from\u00a0\u201cadapting to a constantly changing environment with potentially conflicting priorities.\u201d<\/h2>\n<p>We didn\u2019t write these words, but that one&#8217;s from a real posting. Our ideal candidate, upon seeing this phrase deployed with a straight face, would run headlong in the opposite direction.<\/p>\n<h2>7. Strong Interpersonal Skills are totally freaking optional.<\/h2>\n<p>We&#8217;re running a modern technology\u00a0business, not a high school in-clique. That means\u00a0we do not\u00a0tip the scales for\u00a0Extroverted Socialites any more than we are biased toward Handsome\u00a0Thirty-something Men.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_1074\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1074\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1074\" class=\"wp-image-1074 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"black-and-white-man-person-eyes\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes-300x200.jpg 300w, http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes-200x133.jpg 200w, http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes-768x512.jpg 768w, http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes-1024x683.jpg 1024w, http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes-1680x1120.jpg 1680w, http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes-1240x827.jpg 1240w, http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes-860x573.jpg 860w, http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes-680x453.jpg 680w, http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes-400x267.jpg 400w, http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/black-and-white-man-person-eyes-50x33.jpg 50w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p id=\"caption-attachment-1074\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">I can haz promotion?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>An inclusive culture embraces neurodiversity right along with\u00a0diversity in\u00a0race, gender, or\u00a0sexual orientation. \u00a0Candidate is free to be an introvert, suffer from social anxiety,\u00a0<em>and also succeed<\/em> here.<\/p>\n<h2>8. Should not apply to this job posting.<\/h2>\n<p>We humbly suggest\u00a0that Ideal Candidate distrust any job posting\u00a0that<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>piles on directive language like &#8220;shall&#8221; and \u201cyou must\u201d<\/li>\n<li>traffics in corporate cliches<\/li>\n<li>repeats\u00a0itself<\/li>\n<li>is\u00a0too damn long<\/li>\n<li>keeps saying\u00a0\u201cIdeal Candidate\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em>NOTE: As noted above, Endcrawl is not actually hiring right now. But next time we are, please hold us to this.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Endcrawl is\u00a0not hiring right now, but from time to time\u00a0I&#8217;ve\u00a0had to wade through 500 same-same cover letters. So I\u00a0set out to preemptively describe our Ideal Candidate. 1. Must Display a\u00a0Strong Aversion to Multitasking Ideal Candidate knows that people can\u2019t actually do two things at the same time. Instead of dissipating all of her energy into this feel-good fiction, Candidate will instead: be adept at\u00a0navigating Unexpected Emergent Problem Decompositions, recognize her\u00a0own\u00a0different\u00a0states of mind as a\u00a0competitive advantage, and optimize work around that. 2. Should\u00a0Valiantly Resist Goal-Oriented Behavior Candidates who have never written a hyper-granular &#8220;business plan&#8221; are strongly preferred. Ideal Candidate should\u00a0distrust\u00a0purist [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":688,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/644"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=644"}],"version-history":[{"count":64,"href":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/644\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1081,"href":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/644\/revisions\/1081"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/688"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/endcrawl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}